Do you ever feel discouraged? One day you are full of hope and enthusiasm for the future and the next day you wake up and you’re not so sure any more. It feels like you are on an emotional rollercoaster. You just can’t seem to get a grip on your feelings and you began to believe that you are taking steps backwards on your grief journey instead of moving forward.
I can relate to that seesaw feeling. One day you’re up and the next day you’re down but I am realizing that these feelings are normal and that it’s ok. I can go days sometimes weeks without being emotional and crying and then all of a sudden here it comes. I am back to the drawing board feeling those same feelings all over again. I’m becoming more conscious of these periods in time and understanding that it’s a period of release. During these times, I’m releasing my pain of loss. I’m releasing any negative feelings and emotions that accompanies the loss.
God affirms to me that I’m not taking steps backwards and that the more I release, I am actually taking the proper steps towards moving forward. That I am moving in the right direction towards healing and letting go. To be honest I genuinely feel so much better once I’ve done that; however, it’s very draining but I pray for God to give me strength and courage to take the next steps in the healing process. I have to remind myself that God is my refuge and strength. He is my very present help in times of trouble. (Psalm 46:1) I am encouraged that blessed are those who weep now for we shall laugh again. (Luke 6:21) So for every time I become discouraged on this journey of grief, I’ll just continue to remember the promises of the Lord. I’ll tie them around my neck and write them on the tablet of my heart.