One thing that grief has taught me especially as God is taking me on an intense healing journey is reciprocity. Emotional reciprocity! As children of God we are suppose to love our neighbors as Christ does but that does not mean we have to tolerate emotional abuse from people who call us friends or family. We do not have to continue to provide emotional support and positive actions to people who find it unnecessary to reciprocate it. God is teaching me to set boundaries, to guard my heart at all times. I Affirm that there are certain things that I will no longer tolerate in my space. I Affirm that there are certain people whom I consider toxic and have no desire to connect with. I Affirm that I am no longer willing to over extend myself to people who do not return the same to me. I Affirm that I can not pacify your need to validated or included because you have insecurities. I Affirm that I will no longer down play my blessings nor allow other’s jealousy to manipulate my feelings. I Affirm that I am no longer willing to dim my light so that other’s light can shine. We can shine together! It’s called healing and growing and I am experiencing both! I Affirm that I am no longer attracted to other people’s brokenness. I Affirm that I’ve decided to turn my pain into power. I Affirm that I’ve decided to turn my pain into purpose and I Affirm that I am still the girl who’s turning tragedy into triumph!! What are you affirming over your life? What are you affirming over your emotions, your mind and spirit? What are you speaking in your atmosphere?
When I realized that I had to journey down the road of grief again I prayed for God to help me to grieve gracefully. I did not want grief to overtake me as it sometimes can. I wanted to continue doing the things I was doing before I loss my mom. I didn’t want sadness and sorrow to be my resting place. As I continue the intense healing from her loss and adapt to the new things God is doing in my life, I’m learning to dance in the rain.
See in Jeremiah Chapter 29 the Israelites also went through a season of mourning. They went through a season of exile but God assured them that mourning and exile were not their final destination. He encouraged them in verse 11 to not worry nor be dismayed. Why? Because he knew the plans that he had for them, plans for good and not of evil, plans to give them a hope and a future. God just wanted the Israelites to find contentment in the season they were in. He wanted them to take pleasure in the pit ( dark place ). That’s hard to do right?! He wanted them to learn, to grow and to come out wiser, stronger, better and most importantly in closer relationship with him.
I believe God desires the same for us as we journey through grief and continue to heal from the loss. Months ago I was reminded that we can not wait until we believe the grief is no more. We have to start dancing in the rain. We have to push through the pain, through the fear, through depression, through sadness , through the insecurities and just start dancing. We have to start working on our projects again. We have to pick our pens back up and start writing again. We have to start socializing and enjoying life again. So I pray that God will continue to help us relinquish the wilderness mindset and give us a mindset that see his goodness in all situations. A mindset that will motivate us to get up right now no matter how we feel, no matter what’s going on in our lives and just start DANCING!!